the bliss of stupidity
by monstrofmen
Summary: This is basically what i would want to happen if Marcus had survived healing Susan in Season 4 Episode 17, "The Face of the Enemy". Susan is alive, but Marcus is in a coma, and Susan is finally coming to terms with her feelings for him. Rated M because, well, im paranoid really. Also, some light making out and violence in the later chapters.
1. I Remember

_**Hi! if you're reading this then thank you! If this is rubbish, I'm really sorry, as this is my first ever fanfic. I always feel miserable after Marcus dies in season 4, so i wanted to make my own version of events... enjoy!**_

* * *

Susan sat in her quarters frowning.  
Earth standard time was 10:14pm, and everyone was asleep.  
Well, everyone except her.

Susan hadn't been able to sleep since the ranger, Marcus Cole, had risked his life healing her, two weeks earlier.  
Their ship had been attacked during a battle against the shadows, injuring her. Everyone had told her she wouldn't survive, yet Marcus had refused to give on her. Susan growled, angrily wiping away the tears pricking her eyes. It was a stupid risk, using the alien machine.

It would've certainly killed him, if Stephen hadn't found them and pulled Marcus away.

_**Susan felt the pain begin to fade away.  
Death would soon claim her, she knew that.  
But it wasn't so bad.  
She would be reunited with her mother and her father.  
And some day, Susan realized, she would be reunited with Marcus.  
Sweet Marcus, who had stayed by her side through thick and thin.  
He had tried so hard for her, and all he ever asked for in return was a smile, a thank you.  
**_

_**The light behind her eyes began to fade, and Susan felt her self drift into oblivion...**_

"_**I love you," someone whispered...**_

Susan gasped as a huge wave of despair crashed down on her. Marcus was still in Med Lab, unconscious. It wasn't her fault, Susan knew that. She would never have asked Marcus to do what he did for her, and he would of any way. But a small part of her couldn't shake the feeling that if she hadn't been so damn stupid, if she had just moved the ship before the shadows had spotted them, Marcus would be awake right now, probably making some maddening comment on how she needs plenty of rest, being the heart of Babylon 5 and all.

Susan glanced down at her empty glass of vodka. Sighing, she stood up, walking towards her wardrobe.  
She couldn't stay here, drowning her sorrows in vodka.  
She dressed quickly, eager to leave the dismal quarters.  
Buttoning her shirt, Susan stepped into the silent corridor, and made her way to Med Lab.

* * *

For once, The Med Lab was quiet, with only a few patients occupying the beds.  
The Med Lab was extremely clean, with spotless beds, tidy desks and cabinets filled with medical equipment.

Susan hated it here.  
She hated the sense of pain, and fear, radiating from the few patients around her.  
She hated the bitter, slightly nauseating smell of antiseptic.  
Most of all, she hated the sight of Marcus, lying still and helpless on the bed.

Stephen Franklin, Chief Medical Officer, lay sleeping, his head lolling against a pile of medical files.

"Stephen? Stephen!" muttered Susan, gently shaking the shoulders of the slumbering man.

"Waaaah?" groaned Stephen, his eyes struggling to open.

"You need to get some rest. you're exhausted," scolded Susan. "How long have you been here?"

"15 to 16 hours" He yawned, "Was just finishing off some paper work"

Stephen suddenly blinked into awareness, studying Susan's face.

"Was there something you needed?" he asked.

"No... I just, well... I just, came to see him"

Stephen nodded, understanding immediately.

"Any change?"

"No, He's stable, but still deeply unconscious I'm afraid."

"Alright," Susan shrugged, struggling to compose her self.

"You can go in if you want."

Susan nodded, turning away.  
She walked over to Marcus's bed, appraising him.

His face looked peacful in sleep, his forehead smooth and his mouth curved slightly, as though he was about to laugh.

Susan allowed herself a small smile, gently stroking the sleeping man's dark tresses.  
Over the the few weeks after she had woken up, Susan had begun to realize how much she cared for Marcus. His absence had left a strange hole in her heart, though she insisted this was just because they had become close friends.

"Commander, the Captain would like to see you in his office," her Com barked, snapping Susan out of her absorption.  
Susan groaned; her shift wasn't for another 5 hours, and she had begun to feel the fatigue from staying awake all night.

She cast on more fleeting glance at Marcus, before marching out of the medical bay.

Marcus rolled over in his sleep, his lips stretching into a peaceful smile.

* * *

_**OK, so, even if nobody likes this, i'm going to put up the next chapter in about a week, so if you liked this, stay tuned. :)**_


	2. Happy

**OK, here's, chapter 2. I wasn't sure where i was going with this story, so this mighty be a little weird.**

Lyta Alexander was not happy

The serial killer, Corbin Rye had been sentenced to the death of personality.  
This was where he would be scanned telepathically, mind wiped, and given a brand new personality, serving the community he hurt.

Scanning a murderer was a draining, and often frightening experience, which few telepaths ever agreed to do.

Lyta had been told that seeing inside a murderers mind was like looking into the center of a black hole, like losing a little piece of your soul as you watched the horrific memories take place.  
Lyta had been asked to scan Rye.

She'd probably have said no, if it hadn't been for the captain.

"Lyta, listen," He urged her, "the folks round here are terrified of Ryes, and with good reason. To get an official psi corp here would take at least a week, in which time, the jury could lose their nerve and release him."  
She'd agreed immediately after that.

Lyta could remember how awful Rye's mind was

_I'm in a dark, cold room.  
I can here people screaming, begging for help.  
It wont come._  
_I can see nine young women, standing in a line, silent._  
_I cant see their faces, but their stillness frightens me_.  
_"I was only saving them from the pain," a hollow voice whispers in my ear.  
"The pain of what?" I mutter, my heart pounding in my ears.  
Suddenly, I realize the women in front of me aren't standing... they're hanging from ropes, their wrists cut.  
"Of life," the voice murmurs.  
I scream.  
Everything goes black.  
_

She woke up to find herself in Med Lab, with the worst head ache imaginable.

It was official.

Lyta Alexander was not happy.

* * *

Susan walked into Sheridan's office, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"You wanted to see me captain?"

Susan stepped into the captain's office.

Sheridan sat behind his enormous desk, rubbing sleep from his eyes – he'd obviously only just woken up.

"Thank you for seeing me Commander. Now, I believe you've requested to be put back on active duty?" he asked, hiding a yawn.

"Yes, sir," Susan replied, "I'm fully healed and looking forward to assuming my usual duties again."

Sheridan studied her face, frowning, "And how are you handling the Marcus situation?"

Susan hesitated. She had served with Sheridan for several years and he knew her better ten anyone.  
"I'm dealing sir. Honestly, I'm fine."

Sheridan sighed, shaking his head.  
"No, Susan. I don't think you are."

* * *

**Just to say, i know its a bit short, but this chapter was tricky, and i wasnt sure how to go about writing it. Really hope you enjoyed it!**


	3. Escape

**_ok,so I've finally put up the next chapter,, so hope you enjoy it!_**

* * *

Lyta struggled to sit up, here head throbbing

_That is the last time I do Sheridan a favour, _she thought bitterly_._

"Lyta, how are you feeling?" asked Dr Franklin, concern in his eyes

Lyta smiled.  
She loved how calm and focused Stephen's thoughts were, how dedicated he was to the people he treated.

"I'm fine," she sighed, tapping her throbbing head, "just got a bit of a head ache."

Stephen nodded.  
"Makes sense, you've been through some serious trauma."

Lyta looked around her – besides Marcus, she was the only patient in the Med Lab.

She turned back to Stephan.  
"Corbin Rye did it all right. Not that I doubted it," she shuddered, "When he's wiped, we need to avoid letting him near Proxima 9, where most of the murders took place, but other than that, you can go ahead any time you like."

Stephen nodded mutely.

Lyta sighed.  
"I know it feels wrong Stephan, but it's for the best. Believe me."  
Stephen nodded once more, trying to smile.  
But Lyta wasn't fooled.  
she could feel his thoughts grow bleaker, regret lacing his mind.

Lyta lay back against the bed, closing her eyes.  
Her mind reached out to Marcus, listening to the faint hum of is mind.

_Susan, _his thoughts murmured, radiating love.  
_All for Susan._

Lyta relaxed, opening her mind to the ocean of peace and love washing over her.

_I could save you the pain, _a hollow voice whispered.

Her eyes flew open, wide with fear.  
She scanned the room, gasps shaking her whole body.  
She felt firm hands grasp her shoulders.

"Lyta what's wrong?" begged Stephan, alarmed – her face was a pale as snow.

"He's in my head," Lyta sobbed hysterically, clutching at the doctor's arm frantically.

"Who?"

"Rye!"

Stephen frowned.  
"But, Rye is still in the brig."

"Please, just check," Lyta whimpered.

Five minutes later, Stephan turned to Lyta, his face pale.

"I just called security," he said shakily. "Rye has escaped."

* * *

The Zocalo was busy, people bustling through the large space, heading to the swarm of shops selling their wares.  
Children ran around, shrieking, their mothers running frantically behind them; businessmen sat around coffee tables, negotiating contracts and excited arrivals cluttered the area, pouring into the shops to buy gifts for their loved ones back home.

No one noticed the slender man lurking in the corner, eagerly scanning the crowd with his feral black eyes.

His piercing gaze froze on a woman in uniform, sitting at a table with a pile of paper work.

Her chestnut brown hair was scraped back in a severe ponytail, and her face was stern and focused on the work in front of her.  
But he could see the pain in her eyes.  
He could see the tears falling silently into her coffee.

Poor girl, he thought, running a hand through his own unkempt blond tresses, "She's in pain. But I can save her the pain... if she wants me too.

He eyed the young woman once more, before turning away and stepping into the shadows.

* * *

_**Hope you liked it! I should be getting the next chapter up** **today.**_


	4. pain

"Lyta?" muttered Stephan, his thoughts filled with fear.  
"Lyta, can you hear me?"

Lyta hadn't moved so much as an inch since he'd told her that Rye had escaped.

"Lyta, look at me," the doctor said calmly, "It's going to be fine. Security is out looking for Rye right now. We'll find him."  
_Unless he finds us first_, Lyta thought anxiously.

They heard a groan behind them.  
"Susan?"  
Marcus opened his bleary eyes, squinting in the bright light.  
He looked frantically around him.  
"Where's Susan?" he whispered plaintively.

"Don't worry, I'll call her," Stephan assured the waking man.  
_At least something has gone right today,_ he thought with relief.

"Susan, you need to get down to Medical bay stat," he spoke into his com.  
There was no reply.  
"Susan?" he asked.  
No reply.  
Stephan frowned – it wasn't like Susan to ignore her com link.

A groan behind him brought him back to reality – he had more important things to deal with.

Turning to Marcus, he brought out a light and shined it in his eyes.  
"Pupil contraction normal," he muttered to himself.  
"How do you feel?"  
"Like my mouth's been filled with sawdust, thanks" Marcus answered truthfully. "where's Susan?"  
"She isn't answering her com link,"  
Marcus blanched. "Susan wouldn't ignore her com, Franklin."  
"You need to rest, Marcus," Stephan replied firmly, "I'm sure she's fine."  
"No, Stephan, she isn't," Lyta said quietly, her voice tinged with fear.  
She'd been so quiet before that Stephan had forgotten she was even there.  
"Rye's going after her, I can feel it."

Marcus hissed, his eyes ablaze with anger.  
He shakily struggled of the bed, his fist clenched.  
"What did you say?" he said bluntly.

Susan walked briskly down the hallway, her eye red from crying.  
She had to calm down.  
Marcus was alive and that's all that mattered.

Except it wasn't.

To Susan, being unable to move or talk was as good as being dead.  
She wanted to hear Marcus's stupid British accent.  
She wanted to see that annoying smirk he got whenever he was right.  
Most of all though, she wanted to feel his warm, slender arms wrapped around her, reassuring her that everything would be alright.

She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't even realise when she bumped into someone.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going," she apologised.

"Oh, that's quite alright ma'am," the man chuckled.  
He was quite a slender man, with tangled blonde hair framing his sallow cheeks.  
Susan was convinced she'd never met him before, yet he seemed strangely familiar.

He looked her up and down, his gaze filled with concern.  
"You seem upset," he stated.  
Susan stiffened – this was not a conversation we wished to have with a friend, let alone a complete stranger.  
"Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine," she replied stiffly.

"No you're not, you're in pain," the man said quietly. "Would you like the pain to go away?"

Susan hesitated, then nodded, her eyes brimming with tears.

The slender man smiled, showing rows of long, gleaming white teeth.

He slowly drew a knife from behind his back, and stalked towards her.

Susan's eyes widened in alarm at the terrifying man.  
"Please," she whispered, "don't."

The man smiled kindly, "I'm only saving you the pain."

He stalked forward once more, the hunter stalking his prey.

"Stay away from her," a familiar voice hissed behind him.

_**Guess who's behind him? Yeah, it's pretty obvious, but I'm a sucker for the clichés.**_


	5. Fight for you

_**This one is a little bit shorter than the other because I'm not a great fan of violence, so I wanted to get it done quickly. Enjoy!**_

Susan's heart skipped a beat as she saw the surreal sight in front of her.

Rye had turned away from her to face Marcus, standing behind him.

He looked vulnerable and weak still dressed in the grey Med Bay garb, a Minbari fighting pike gripped in his trembling hands.

_He's awake_, Susan thought, her heart thumping with joy and despair – after all these weeks, he had finally woken up, only to die at the hands of this madman.

Rye smirked.  
"You can barely stand, how are you gonna stop me?" he sneered.

Quick as a flash, Marcus raised his pike above his head and brought it down on Rye's shoulder.  
He screamed in pain.  
"Strength isn't all that matters," Marcus retorted.  
He raised the pike once again, striking Rye in the stomach and the chest.  
Finally, he slammed it down against the Rye's jaw, breaking it.

Rye fell to the floor, doubling over in pain.  
Marcus kicked him for good measure, fury still burning inside him.

He turned to Susan, a tired smile playing on his lips.  
She smiled back, her heart expanding with love.

Marcus began to lean against the wall, obviously exhausted from the experience.  
Susan watched in horror as Marcus's face turned ashen and he collapsed on the hard floor.

"Marcus!" she gasped, running to his side.  
_No, no, no, no, NO!  
_She cradled his head in her lap, checking his pulse.  
She sighed in relief; he was only unconscious.

Still cradling his head, she reached for her Com.

"This is Commander Susan Ivanova to security and Medical Bay," she said anxiously, "I need you down in Grey 13 now!"  
She traced the dark circles under Marcus's eyes gently with her index finger.  
Pressing her lips lightly to Marcus's forehead, she settled down to guard Rye until security showed up...


	6. More than my life

Marcus stood, staring around his room.  
He hadn't exactly missed the room, he mused, but, he certainly preferred it to the cold, bright medical bay where he had been staying for the past few weeks.  
At least it held some memories; letters from his brother, telling him about his time with the rangers; his rangers brooch; a few of his favorite books he'd managed to take to Minbar with him, and a photo of Susan, brow furrowed in concentration, her long chestnut brown hair tied back in that severe ponytail.  
Marcus grinned – at the time, Susan hadn't even realized he'd taken a photograph, she'd so busy.

"Marcus?" someone called from the corridor.  
No, not someone.  
Marcus would always know that voice.  
He gulped.  
"Enter," He mumbled, quickly hiding the picture.  
The door slid open and Susan stepped into the room.

"About time," Marcus smirked, "i was beginning to wonder if you'd forgotten me after all these weeks."

Susan rolled her eyes, "I couldn't forget you if I wanted to Marcus."  
She blushed slightly, looking away from Marcus's cool grey eyes.

Susan was never an emotional person (she'd inherited that from her father) but she couldn't help herself around Marcus.  
He'd saved her life twice now, nearly dying for her on both occasions.  
How could she _not _love him?  
Tears trickled down Susan's cheeks.  
She ran into Marcus's arms, tears soaking into his dark shirt.

Marcus himself looked a little surprised, but he pulled her tighter against his chest, fearing it would be the very first and the very last time he ever came so close to her.  
He stroked her soft brown hair, trying to calm her.

Susan pulled away from him, her eyes filled with a million emotions.  
She glared at Marcus menacingly.  
"If you ever, EVER, risk your life for me like that again, I swear, I'll cut you into tiny pieces, set fire to you, and feed you to the Pak'ma'ra, understand?!" she hissed.

Marcus grinned. This was definitely the same Susan he knew... and loved.

Susan smiled unwillingly at the dark haired ranger, "I am glad you're alive though," she admitted quietly.

Marcus chuckled, "Me too."

They stood, smiling sheepishly at each other for what seemed like forever.

Eventually, Susan asked the question which had been burning her since she'd woken up that first night.

"Marcus, why did you do it?" She whispered.

Marcus's smiled sadly, "because, Susan, you mean more to me then my own life."

Susan stared into Marcus's gentle grey eyes, and she knew that he would never leave her, never cause her pain.  
Tears filled her eyes.  
"You really do love me, don't you?" she whispered.

Marcus hesitated, cautiously stretching his hand across the small space between them, to caress her cheek.  
Without thinking, Susan leaned into the hand.

"Since the moment I first met you," he whispered softly.

Staring into Marcus's deep grey eyes, Susan gently placed her hands on his shoulders and pressed her lips against his his.


	7. stupid

_**Um, ok, this chapter was a little tricky, so feel free to ignore the ending if you want to. Enjoy!**_

* * *

Marcus froze in shock.

Susan continued to press her lips against his, desperate for a reaction.  
She didn't even care if he pushed her off him and told her he was married – at least that would be a reaction.

Marcus stood frozen for a few seconds longer, assessing the situation.  
Was this really happening, or was it just another fantasy?  
Marcus decided he didn't care.

He grasped at Susan's waist, pulling her closer to him.  
Susan moaned slightly at the gentle touch, eagerly sliding her fingers in his soft chocolate brown hair, adoring the feel of it.

Marcus broke the kiss, staring at Susan with anxious eyes.  
_He's never done this before, _Susan realised, her fingers still wound in his hair.  
She pulled him back for another kiss.  
Susan smiled against his trembling lips._  
This is so Marcus, _she thought_, always over thinking everything._

Susan tentatively pushed her tongue against his lower lip, licking and sucking at it tenderly.  
Marcus gasped, giving Susan the opportunity to slip her tongue inside his mouth.  
He moaned into her mouth, clutching her tighter against him, his hands roaming across her back.  
Marcus shyly lowered his head to Susan's neck, kissing and nibbling gently at the soft flesh there.  
Susan uttered a shrill moan, her hands scrabbling at the buttons on his shirt.  
Realizing she liked it, Marcus continued to her attack her neck passionately, showering her collar bone with butterfly kisses.  
Susan sighed with pleasure, her fingers curled at the nape of his neck.  
She hated the feeling of the clothing between them, tearing off Marcus's shirt to reveal his bare chest, hard and muscular.  
Susan caressed his chest, tracing the scars crisscrossing his skin.

Suddenly, she pushed him onto the bed, climbing on after him.  
She straddled him, smirking at the stunned expression on Marcus's face.  
She kissed his eyelids lovingly, her lips gliding down to his jaw, along his chest before stopping at his abdomen.

"Susan," Marcus gasped, trying to think coherently, "I've never... well, you know I haven't –"  
Susan pressed a finger to his lips, stopping his train of thought.  
"Another time then," she said softly, smiling at the man beneath her.  
She crawled forward so they were face to face.  
"For now, I'm just happy to be with you."  
She curled up beside Marcus, her head resting on his chest.

Marcus circled his arms around her protectively – curled up beside him, Susan seemed so frail and helpless, like a child.  
Snuggling closer, Marcus whispered in her ear, "I love you."  
Susan smiled sleepily, and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips.  
"Don't ever be that stupid again, Marcus. I love you too."  
Marcus grinned.  
He didn't mind being stupid if it was always this blissful.

* * *

_**So, that's the end. I really, really, really hope you liked it!**_


End file.
